Need Vs. Want

By Engr. Francis Apostol

“There is never good enough. There is always something better”.

These are very motivating words from the founder of KUMON. And yes, they are true, and I believe in them. I have all my four children enrolled with the KUMON Method. They started with Math, then after a few months, they started the Reading program. Today, after almost two years, they have medals, awards, certificates, and other sorts of recognitions, in and out of school including today’s celebration. It is a very rewarding feeling for us parents to hear that our children are achieving and getting good names. And before you know it, your wife or the lola has already told the story to a number of parents, or friends. Of course, who wouldn’t be proud of their achievements? But do you know that there is a relation between how your child performs and the right love or parenting you extend to your child? I am talking about the relation that simply says, “if you share more love, and extend the best parenting you know to your child, you can expect your child to do better.”

Case Point #1: When I brought my second child to the Philippine Science High School in San Ildefonso, Ilocos Sur, I noticed a general pattern among the students as well as the parents. I would say 90% of the students belong to above average families. Both parents were all there, their children, and even their cousins. Only few arrived who took the bus. I got the chance to talk to a number of them and the common scenario is that their parents or their family exerts more effort helping each other, cope up with the child’s schoolwork, projects, assignments and even financials (‘igagapang nila’) just to make sure their child can move forward in school; Case Point #2 My parents are from the Visayas, and I studied here at Saint Louis University. I was a Dean’s Lister, but by accident. It involved two persons on top of my parents supporting me. The first person was my roommate who was very rich, and had everything he needed to study - books, computer, money. But something was unique with him - his father would call him from IRAQ almost every other day. His mother would visit him every week. It was an inspiration and an advantage. I got the chance to borrow his books and facilities that no other students had. He graduated Magna Cum Laude; I was a Dean’s Lister. The other person was my instructor who treated me like a son. She would bring me to her home in Bakakeng during weekends and live with a family. That way, I was ushered to a life full of meaning and to move forward.

But what is the pattern? It is that if we, the parents, would put more focus on the needs of our children’s schooling, and provide them the best support, then we can always expect that they will do well. But parents who know that there could be something better and venture into it, easily have children performing well in school. The KUMON Methods is one way and I am a very proud husband because my wife has more time for me now. Before KUMON, my children had difficulty coping with their school activities and constantly called on Mommy! But now my four children are helping each other complete their assignments, and we just guide them. Be we are careful - giving more love doesn’t mean we give them a new IPOD or a Nokia N95 in exchange for their performance … parenting is knowing what is needed over what is wanted.

So we remember what the founder has said, “There is never good enough... There is always something better”.

Name of Childre: NIKKA, CARLO, MARCO and ANGELA APOSTOL
Name of Parent: ENGR. FRANCIS APOSTOL
Center: BAGUIO CENTER